1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,394
[Instrumental Music]

2
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:06,136
Ooh, you got this place
smelling like the commissary

3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,356
- on Thanksgiving, Lisa!
- Yeah.

4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:09,792
But it doesn't
smell good enough.

5
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:12,360
I still need the uh, the
macaroni and cheese, the beans,

6
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:15,711
- the greens, the potatoes-
- Okay, okay, whoa, whoa!

7
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,147
Slow down, Shirley Caesar,

8
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,715
we have until tomorrow to get
this all done, we'll get there.

9
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,413
Oh, uh, oh!

10
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,981
Or not.
[Lisa Sighs]

11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,331
I;m so nervous,
Viv, I just want this

12
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,942
to be perfect.

13
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,554
Ha! Yeah, well don't
worry, you just got to keep
your composure, Lisa.

14
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:36,123
Okay? And I have to do that
every time they get my
order wrong at the Coffee Nut.

15
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:40,214
You know,they're lucky I don't
put a karate latte up their ass.
[Laughter]

16
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:43,521
Okay, yeah, well
I guess you're right.

17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,957
Yeah, besides,

18
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,263
what's the worst
that could happen?

19
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,351
you could lose your
business, self respect,

20
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,571
and dignity, but who
needs any of that?
[Laughter]

21
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,878
Oh, wow, that's quite
the reassuring voice
you have there, Viv.

22
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,315
Thank you, thank you.

23
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,012
Oh wait, did you bring
the uh, the salad?

24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,449
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh-huh.
Sure did, I got it right here.

25
00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,798
- Ah.
- Ah-huh.

26
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:00,843
Wha- what is this?

27
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,236
- It's salad.
- Really?

28
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:05,021
Because, you know, a salad
usually has, uh, what is

29
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,328
what is that green stuff
called? Uh, yeah, oh,

30
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,155
lettuce!

31
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,766
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you
can keep your sarcasm, Lisa.

32
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:14,161
This is my family's world
famous potato salad, alright?

33
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,337
Now you didn't specify what
kind of salad you wanted.

34
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,078
I thought you would
just bring normal salad.

35
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:21,298
I really, really did.
You know, I have to
bring something healthy.

36
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,213
Well Lisa, there's orange
slices in here,

37
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,259
and that gives vitamin
C, it's very healthy.

38
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,695
If we just add some
lettuce to it on top-

39
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,914
Oh God, please! No,
no, it will not be fine.

40
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,003
Please, let's just save
this "world famous"

41
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:33,267
potato salad with vitamin
C in it for another time,

42
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,356
and we need to
chop up a fresh one.

43
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,141
Okay, but can I at least
add a special pizzazz to it?

44
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:40,230
Uh, yeah, yeah, that's fine,

45
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667
but let's keep it simple,
like croutons and dressing.

46
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,234
Okay, or, or, or raisins,

47
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,497
jicama, kumquats, uh, apricots-

48
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,500
Don't push it.
[Laughter]

49
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,589
♪ Woke up and my wife said to me

50
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,026
♪ The bill collectors
want their fees

51
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,203
♪ The kids keep
talking back to me

52
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,074
♪ Family Time

53
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:02,557
♪ Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time

54
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,519
Hey Lisa, let's finish
watching the new
season of "Peculiar Things",

55
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:12,349
I gotta know what that crazy
little Number 13 is up to.

56
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:17,311
So much mac 'n cheese.
[Laughter]

57
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,052
- Lisa!

58
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:21,489
Huh?

59
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:22,968
I'm sorry, Tony, I don't
know what's wrong with me,

60
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,535
I'm exhausted.

61
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:27,234
Oh my God, I been
cookin' all day.

62
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,671
Yeah, I know. I can tell by
that huge mountain of

63
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:33,196
potatoes that slid down
them pile of dirty
dishes you left in the sink.

64
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,893
I, I like bein' my own boss,

65
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:38,419
I really do, but man, this
is so much pressure.

66
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:41,422
Aw, does my little CEO
need a shoulder rub?

67
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,119
Just I've never cooked for
this many people before.

68
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,556
I'm, I'm overwhelmed. I am.

69
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,602
Well, I have a solution.

70
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,778
Why don't you cancel that job
and stay home and cook
for me tomorrow night?

71
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,432
Cook for you?
[Laughter]

72
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,216
Yeah, for me and this client
that I invited over for dinner.

73
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,263
Tony, why wouldn't you tell me
you invited people over earlier?

74
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,568
'Cause I figured it
ain't no big deal.

75
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,004
Cookin' ain't that hard, right?
[Laughter]

76
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,571
Excuse me?!

77
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,531
I mean, because you do it
all the time, you used to it.

78
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,447
Yeah, just like you sit on
your behind all day and

79
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,013
don't tell me you
invited people over.

80
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,972
Okay, okay, I deserve that.

81
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,235
Tony, come on, you
can't keep doing this.

82
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,368
My job is just as
important as yours.

83
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,544
Okay, okay, but, in my defense,

84
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,807
I got this millionaire that
wants to invest in Stallworth

85
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,504
construction, so I
wanted to impress him

86
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,550
with a home cooked meal.

87
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,595
I mean, maybe you could
at least just leave out
some of this potato salad.

88
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,598
I didn't do the
potato salad, Vivian did.

89
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:28,817
Huh.

90
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,036
Is that why I just
bit into a craisin?
[Laughter]

91
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,213
You can, you can have as
much of that as you want.

92
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,257
I can't give him this!

93
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,824
His taste buds might explode.

94
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,434
Then I'd be on
trial for manslaughter.

95
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,481
Oh come on, it can't
be that bad, Tony.
[Laughter]

96
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,134
Eh, it's not that bad.

97
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,919
Once you get past the walnuts,
anchovies and the sauerkraut,

98
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,312
it's a delicacy.
[Laughter]

99
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,269
[Mumbling]

100
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,533
Did I just bite
into a kernel of corn?

101
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,840
Check the toilet in a couple
of hours, then you'll know.

102
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,320
I'm not having it.
[Laughter]

103
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,801
Are you really not gonna
cook dinner tomorrow?

104
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,282
Oh I'm cooking dinner.
For my client, not yours.

105
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,414
That's cold, Lisa.

106
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,111
Oh God, ooh...

107
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,853
I gotta go to bed, my
stomach is cussing me out.
[Laughter]

108
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,333
Do like you tell Devin,

109
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,987
sit on the toilet
'til you boo-boo.
[Laughter]

110
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,337
[Lisa] Ooh!

111
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:17,561
[Low Humming Sound]

112
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:21,173
- You feel that?
- Hmm?

113
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:24,176
Mm-mm.

114
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,136
[Instrumental Music]

115
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,273
[Lisa] Morning.

116
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,276
[Tony] Morning, babe.

117
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,887
How did I end upon
this side of the bed?

118
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,845
Why are my legs so hairy?

119
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:44,414
Why are my legs so smooth?

120
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,460
[Both] Why do you look like me?

121
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,461
[Deep Gasp]

122
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:52,292
[Screaming]

123
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,337
What the hell is going on?

124
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,208
What did you do, Tony?

125
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,862
Is this because I
wouldn't be a slave for
your little meeting later?

126
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,429
I didn't do nothin' woman!

127
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,910
Or should I say man?
Or should I say me?

128
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,346
Damn it, this is
all so confusing!

129
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,566
Okay, okay, okay, just
calm down, calm down.

130
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,915
Okay now maybe we just need to

131
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,482
relax and, and stay calm.

132
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,440
Calm down? Calm down?

133
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:11,920
How am I supposed to calm down

134
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,356
when I went to sleep as
Tarzan and woke us as Jane?!

135
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,053
You think I'm happy about this?

136
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,839
I got hair all over me,
I feel like a damn wolverine!

137
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,667
What is that smell?
Oh no, that is awful.

138
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,711
I, I'm gonna take a bath,

139
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,539
and all this hair's
gonna be gone, ASAP.

140
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,498
Don't you shave my
damn legs, Lisa!
[Laughter]

141
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,151
This is ridiculous, Tony.

142
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,152
What happened last night?

143
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,416
Well I was on my way
upstairs, got hungry,

144
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,156
found the potato
salad, tried it,

145
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,375
threw up in my
mouth a little bit,

146
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,335
gave you some and
then went to sleep.

147
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,467
[Both] The potato salad!
[Laughter]

148
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,469
You mean to tell me
Vivian's potato salad

149
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,385
is so bad that it has unwanted
supernatural side effects?!

150
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:45,736
Must've been the walnuts
clashing with the
damn artichoke hearts.

151
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,303
Wh-wh-what are we gonna do?

152
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,480
Uh, we're just gonna have
to deal with it for now.

153
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:51,916
How are we supposed to do that?

154
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,397
Well, my client Mr. Phillips
is coming over for dinner,

155
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,531
uh, and, and the
big game, so we're going
to have to entertain him.

156
00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,577
Oh yeah, the client that you
just told me about last night?

157
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:01,970
- Don't you start with me, Lisa.
- Mm.

158
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,625
I'll turn this damn bob
cut into a Mohawk.
[Laughter]

159
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,541
Well that's fine. I always
wondered how you'd
look with pink fingernails.

160
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,456
Alright, alright, chill Lisa.

161
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,502
Don't you be disrespecting
my manhood right now.
[Laughter]

162
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:13,938
What, what do I
have to do for you?

163
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,114
Well, I did most of
the cooking last night,

164
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,551
so you and Vivian will
have to do the rest

165
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,726
and then package it to go.

166
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,468
- And cook for my client.
- Excuse me?
[Laughter]

167
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,122
I'm used to working
under pressure.

168
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,776
You, you, you know, you
just sit around and look

169
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,518
pretty and wash them
dishes and keep 'em clean!
[Laughter]

170
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:29,650
Whatever, Tony.

171
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:30,955
Just don't mess this up for me,

172
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,784
or this kitchen will be
closed to you permanently.

173
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,526
Well good. I don't
want it anyway.

174
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,180
Or do I? Wait, what do I want?

175
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,791
Lisa, wait!
[Knocking]

176
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,620
Hey mom, are we still gonna
go get Brazilian waxes later?

177
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,580
Oh, hell no. Lisa, come back!
[Laughter]

178
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,452
[Instrumental Music]

179
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,368
Hey, thanks again for the
invite, Mr. Stallworth.

180
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,544
No problem at all, call me Lisa.
[Laughter]

181
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,893
- Lisa?
- Hmm?

182
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,504
Ain't that your wife name?

183
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:01,725
Mm-hmm. That is my wife's name.
[Chuckling]

184
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:05,468
I just, sometimes, when
man and wife become one,

185
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,471
they take on each
others nicknames.

186
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,821
So, uh, if it makes it easier
for you, just call me Tony.

187
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:13,694
Right, okay Tony, cool. So,

188
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,347
how's your portfolio, okay?

189
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,567
Huh? Hows the
Sandamp;P treatin' you, good?

190
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,917
Mm, I tried to
lay off the salt lately,

191
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,354
but uh, love me some pepper.
[Chuckles]

192
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:25,140
- I quit it.
- You have an interesting
sense of humor, man.

193
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,576
So, we're here to
see the game, right?

194
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,795
It's about game time.

195
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:31,363
Oh, sure. Let me
turn it on for you.

196
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:34,323
Mm-hmm.

197
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:37,239
You wouldn't happen to know
what channel it's on, would you?
[Laughter]

198
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,371
You know, actually I wouldn't.

199
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,243
I mean this is your house,
so, you're supposed to know
where the channels are.

200
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,984
[Chuckles] True.

201
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,639
I get it man, I just
cut the cable myself

202
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,467
tryin' to find these
new channels is crazy.

203
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,294
Keep flippin', we'll find it.

204
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,601
So, what do you think about
the blockbuster trade

205
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:52,646
went down last week?

206
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,823
Didn't Blockbuster go out
of business years ago?

207
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,565
I hope so, I still got
videos and late fees!

208
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,784
[Both Laughing]

209
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,526
- You are very funny, man.
- I try.
[Knocking]

210
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,573
Finally, excuse me.

211
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,795
- Ah, Donnie.
- Hey, what's up, Tone?

212
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:15,625
Hey uh, what's up with
Poetic Justice over here?
[Laughter]

213
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,540
Oh uh, this is Sean Phillips,

214
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,063
he's gonna be watchin'
the game with us today.

215
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,674
- Mm.
- How you doin', I'm Sean.

216
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,589
Hey, nice to meet you, man.

217
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,460
Another mouth to feed, huh?
[Laughter]

218
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,200
Let me talk to you.

219
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,418
Hey man, what's going on with

220
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,421
in the Montel Jordan over
here, this is how we do it?

221
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,424
Hush Donnie, listen, I'm Lisa.

222
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,991
[Laughs]
What are,

223
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:36,211
are you tryin' to ruin my
visual of your wife, man?

224
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,995
What do you mean you Lisa?
[Laughter]

225
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,564
Tony and I had some of
Vivian's potato salad last night

226
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,566
and it was so bad that we
literally switched bodies.

227
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:47,004
So, I'm in his body,
he's in my body, I'm Lisa.

228
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,310
[Laughter]

229
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,268
Do you realize how
ridiculous this sounds, man?

230
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:53,010
You can't be Lisa,
because you are Tony.

231
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,621
You're Tony, she's Lisa.

232
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,362
Okay look, trust me, I'm Lisa.

233
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,234
[Sighs] Okay, okay,

234
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,541
if you're Lisa,

235
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,718
how do I know it?
Prove that you're Lisa.
[Laughter]

236
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:08,156
Last barbecue, you and
Lori had one too many drinks,

237
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,766
[Clears throat Loudly]

238
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,028
Okay, that's quite enough.

239
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,509
It'd been better if you'da
just said the real

240
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,598
name of me and your love
child, but listen man,

241
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,686
if that's the case,

242
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,122
how can I even help?
What can I do?

243
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,602
Okay, Sean is here
to watch the game, but

244
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,256
I don't know anything
about basketball.

245
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,084
You have to help us.

246
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,477
I don't want to blow
this for Tony, he's a
huge client. Help me.

247
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,479
Okay, I got you.

248
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,480
[Softly] Lisa.

249
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,745
Hey, fellas I found the game!

250
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,922
So Donnie are you
tied up in the Sandamp;P as well?

251
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,489
Yeah, I'm tired of bein'
single and patient.

252
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:40,057
[Laughter]

253
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:42,190
So, then she told me
he didn't even get her

254
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,366
flowers for Valentine's day.
How could you not give

255
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,847
flowers for Valentine's Day?
Who does that?

256
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,283
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Phone Vibrates]

257
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:50,938
Oh, this is her right
now, I'll be right back.

258
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,070
Yeah, yeah.

259
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,724
Hey Lisa, is everything
almost ready?

260
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:55,638
I've got a function to get to.

261
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,987
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

262
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,946
Oh... this.

263
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,209
What are you doing? I thought we
cooked all the food last night.

264
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,819
We did?
[Laughter]

265
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,734
Right, right, yeah, yeah,
right, right, right,

266
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,388
we, we did, uh, uh,

267
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,870
but you know, Tony asked
me to cook dinner for
him and Mr. Phillips as well.

268
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,874
Oh wow, you volunteered
to cook for them even
with this huge job today?

269
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,311
Well, I, I know I'm busy, but

270
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,095
you know, that's what you do
for people you love, right?

271
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,358
Well, yeah, but if
Tony really loved you,

272
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,796
he'd understand that
now is a terrible time

273
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,319
to be cooking a
whole separate dinner

274
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:27,409
just for him and
some stupid friends.
[Laughter]

275
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:30,325
Vivian.

276
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,327
I am Tony!
[Laughter]

277
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,635
Girl, quit playin'.

278
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,638
Your husband got hit for medical
fraud, and he's been hiding out
in the Philippines ever since.

279
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,944
[Laughter]

280
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,860
I thought your breath
smelled different.
[Laughter]

281
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,863
- Tod, they're onto us.
- Mm-hmm.

282
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,040
Ooh, it smells
good in there, man.

283
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,390
I sure hope it's ready soon.

284
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,741
Oh yeah, Lisa in
there doin' her thang.

285
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,179
[Chuckles]
Or should I say Tony?

286
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,572
Hey dad, can I
ask you something?

287
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,226
Baby I told you,

288
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:05,142
if your stomach hurts, sit on
the toilet until you go boo-boo.

289
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,927
Baby? Last time I heard that,

290
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:10,626
you punched me in my leg and
said, "shut up, you big baby."

291
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,933
Hush boy. This,
this is Mr. Phillips.

292
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,804
- Nice to meet you.
- How you doin'?

293
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,589
I'm Devin. You two
might be able to help
me with this problem, too.

294
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,287
It's about a girl.

295
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,942
Hey man, my advice,

296
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:26,773
just go to the clinic
and use a fake name.
[Laughter]

297
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:31,473
Let me tell you something
man, women, I know a lot
about 'em. Is she cute?

298
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,955
Yeah, she's bad. I been feelin'
her for a cool minute now, but

299
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,260
she's sending mixed signals.

300
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:39,176
You just have to understand
the way women work.

301
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,961
Okay? They are-

302
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,528
[Donnie] Cray-zee.
[Laughter]

303
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,487
One minute, they
say they love you,

304
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:46,749
and then the next minute they

305
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,708
trippin' 'cause you asked them

306
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:53,016
to borrow they car and
not fill it up with gas.
[Laughter]

307
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,193
I don't know about
his issues, but let me
tell you something man,

308
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,978
women are, you know,

309
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,632
kind of like attractin' 'em
is almost like fishing.

310
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:03,200
Exactly, you throw some
good bait out there,

311
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:06,203
end up with a whole lot of bass.
[Laughter]

312
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,771
Men are such pigs.
[Laughter]

313
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,643
See my choice of bait is
the finer things in life.

314
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,645
'Cause I know women
like they be wined,

315
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:16,648
dined, and you just shower
them with gifts and, bam.

316
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:17,911
[Laughter]

317
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,869
So, I'm supposed to just

318
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,219
break the bank on her and I'll
have her in the bag?

319
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,787
Listen, women are not
that complicated, okay?

320
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,225
We just like, wom- wom-
women, are like,

321
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,488
beautiful butterflies.

322
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,361
Fluttering their wings, looking
for a safe utopia to land.

323
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,928
If you understand their feelings

324
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,321
the right woman will come along.

325
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:41,543
Or you just have a lot of
money, let them butterflies
just flutter right to you.

326
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:44,546
Utopia style.
[Laughter]

327
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,246
You're Tony?

328
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,552
How did that happen?

329
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,597
It was your damn potato salad!

330
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,861
Lisa and I ate it,

331
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,124
and we switched bodies!
I don't know what kind of voodoo
you put in that thang, woman!

332
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,821
Wow, it's that bad, huh?

333
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,344
Yeah!

334
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,912
Who the hells puts pork 'n
beans in their potato salad?

335
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:06,829
Well, my ancestors were
colonizers, Tony!
[Laughter]

336
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:10,746
You know, it's a family
recipe, I'm sorry!

337
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,269
So now what?

338
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,750
Now we gotta ace
this catering gig

339
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,273
- so we can secure this job.
- Okay.

340
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:19,059
That's what I need your
help with, that's what I
need your help with.

341
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:22,062
Okay, look, look Tony, we
can ace this catering job, but

342
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,977
we seriously don't
have time to make a

343
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,980
extra dinner for your client
too, it's just not possible.

344
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,939
Fine, fine, I guess I'll
figure that out myself.

345
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,723
Thanks for nothin'.
[Laughter]

346
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,901
Hey mom, can you still take
me bra shopping this weekend?

347
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,511
I have a better idea.

348
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:40,123
Why don't you just wear
a bra everyday until
you're 30. A sports bra.

349
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,996
Or, I won't wear one at all.
[Laughter]

350
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,781
Hey!
[Laughter]

351
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,002
[Lisa
Tony] Hm. Smells horrible.

352
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,179
Smells like Rachel's
wig after a jog.

353
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,398
- Hey, y'all.
- Hey ladies.

354
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,401
Well if it ain't Rocky
Mouth and Bullwinkle.
['Laughter]

355
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,969
- Dang Lisa, good
to see you, too.
- Mm-hmm.

356
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:04,582
Yeah Lisa, we don't have
to take this from your
dumpy husband and you.

357
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:08,935
I canceled a hot date to
come help with your "big gig".

358
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:13,113
Relax Tony, don't blow
your cover, we need
their help tonight.

359
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,637
Sorry guys, I'm a little tired
from all this cooking.

360
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,638
Mm-hmm.

361
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,901
Oh, mashed potatoes are done.

362
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,861
Lisa, you're still cooking?
I thought it was time for
us to start heading out.

363
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,559
It is, but i gotta cook
for my family, too.

364
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,169
Sounds like you
doin' the most to me.

365
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,084
- Well that's what I told her.
- Hmm.

366
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:31,218
Don't worry, I got
this y'all, got this.

367
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:34,003
Oh, Lisa, I don't
think that's edible.

368
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:34,917
[Laughter]

369
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:38,921
This entree though,
nice oven roasted

370
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,490
plump, juicy...
[All Coughing]

371
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,622
...turkey!
[Coughing]

372
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:45,928
Chicken, whatever it is.

373
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:49,889
Lisa, what're you
cookin', Flava Flav?
[Laughter]

374
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,369
Lisa, what're you doing?
You can't take food
from the catering!

375
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,805
- Yes, Lisa!
- Forget this!

376
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:55,285
No, no, no!

377
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,939
You can't take that food.

378
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,680
Greedy! That's for
the hungry people.

379
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,203
Forget them!

380
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,510
You take it, and then they
won't have anything to eat.

381
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,294
Well, maybe they should
get their own food,

382
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:07,254
them dang old freeloaders!
[All Gasp]

383
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,473
Lisa.

384
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,911
Even I'm disappointed in you.

385
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:14,739
Yeah, I mean it's not every
day you get to give
back to the community

386
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,090
by feeding the homeless.

387
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,700
Homeless?

388
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,529
Tony can I talk to,
uh, beh, Lisa, can I talk
to you for a second?

389
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:24,706
Oh, if it isn't Classless Clay.

390
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,882
- Oh hey Rachel,
thanks for coming.
- Oh.

391
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,277
I, I mean, uh, uh, uh,
shut up, you big-ass crow.

392
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,888
Uh-uh, don't you talk to
my little sister like that.

393
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,196
- Ya big ol' jellyfish head.
- Yeah.

394
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,023
Listen here squidbillies,

395
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,285
why don't y'all get the
hell up out of my house

396
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:41,114
and go set up at the uh,
homeless shelter.
[laughter]

397
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724
- Here, help me get
this to the car.
- Bye.

398
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,160
- Come on, come on ladies.
- Alright.

399
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,163
Grab what you can.

400
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:50,558
Ooh, let me help.

401
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,039
- Good save, good save.
- I learned from the best.

402
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,997
[Both Chuckling]

403
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,521
Hey, why didn't you tell me you
were cooking for the homeless?

404
00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:59,306
Well, our services
are a donation

405
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,699
Tony, and I didn't want you to
get upset about the money.

406
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,005
Care about the money?

407
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,181
I think you cooking for
the homeless is amazing.

408
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,791
- And I respect what you doin'.
- Awww.

409
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,750
Mm-mm!

410
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,404
Uh-oh.

411
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,101
Something's happening
I've never felt before.
[Laughter]

412
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,104
Yeah, I remember the first time
that happened to me, too.

413
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,019
[Laughter]

414
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,022
Cooking for Mr. Phillips
didn't, didn't work.

415
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,068
Clearly.

416
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,244
You wanna go tell him we're
getting Goober Eats before
he gets too hangry?

417
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,985
Hmm.

418
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,856
[Donnie] Man, I'm about to
whup your ass sideways!
[Laughter]

419
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:32,817
[Lisa/Tony] What is the problem?

420
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:37,039
Hey, you need to talk
to your boy black Lex
Luthor over here, alright?

421
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,260
He came in here
talking reckless, like
straight disrespectful.

422
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,785
All I'm sayin' is Too
Fat Shakur, you about
to get some of this juice.

423
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,786
[Laughter]

424
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,831
Donnie, what the
hell is going on?

425
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,183
You mess up my money,
I'mma knock you out myself.
[Lisa/Tony Chuckling]

426
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,140
Honey, I got this.

427
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:53,490
Uh, can someone please
tell me what's going on?

428
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,231
Yeah, I'll tell you
what's going on, okay?

429
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,754
So I'm watching the game,

430
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,148
and I see Lyle Luzma hit the
game buzzer beater, right?

431
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,802
And then all of a sudden I hear-

432
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,978
To hell with the Lakers
man, I'm a Clipper fan.

433
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,588
[Gasps]
[Laughter]

434
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:08,288
Well done Donnie,
never heard such
blasphemy in this household.

435
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,768
Oh, oh, okay, let's
be sensible now.

436
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,074
I mean think about it,
[Chuckles]

437
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,382
do any of us really have any
connection to these teams?

438
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,950
Uh, does being part owner of the
Clippers count as a connection?

439
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:22,128
- You're part owner
of the Clippers?
- That's right.

440
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,391
Meaning you, you get to
go to all of the games

441
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,263
- uh, and especially when
they play the Lakers?
- Mm-hmm.

442
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,179
Every. Last. One.
[Laughter]

443
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:32,268
Well, first brother,
this ain't even me,

444
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,226
I'm not even this
kind of guy, man.

445
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:36,272
I want to apologize for trying
to catch your face, okay?

446
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:39,971
I, I, I don't, I don't think
the Clippers are that bad.

447
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,191
Well I don't think
the Lakers are, either.

448
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:45,281
Especially when they
not playin' the Clippers.

449
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,066
Accept your apology.

450
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,589
Well I for one would
love to work with you on

451
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,418
some Clipper related
construction projects.

452
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,246
I, I mean, my husband,
my husband would.

453
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:56,118
You know that's actually what I
came to talk to you about,Tony.

454
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,860
- Mm.
- Yeah. We need a company
that can put up a new

455
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,863
improved locker room in
the Clipper's practice facility.

456
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,865
Think you're down for the job?

457
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:07,216
Sure. As long as my wife gets to

458
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,219
cater some of the
post-game practices?

459
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:13,135
Well, I've been smellin'
her food all day,

460
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,312
even though I didn't get
a chance to taste any, I
mean I did think I was gonna

461
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,097
get a nice home cooked dinner.

462
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,448
Hah, yeah, I've been thinkin'
about Lisa's yams all day.

463
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,885
- Well, Lisa has been
tied up all day-
- Let's go, Lisa,

464
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,408
we don't want to be late
to the homeless shelter.

465
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,149
Homeless shelter, you say?

466
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,412
Yeah we uh, donated
our catering services

467
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:32,850
to the West Side Homeless
Shelter, and tonight we're
feeding 300 people.

468
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,940
That's why I wasn't able to cook
for you tonight, I apologize.

469
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,247
Oh, no apology needed, okay?

470
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,596
Homeless shelter.

471
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,295
I believe in payin' it
forward, so let, allow me to

472
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,079
take care of the expenses
for tonight's dinner.

473
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,081
That would be amazing!

474
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,604
[Both Squealing]

475
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:50,390
Well, we should get going
to the homeless shelter,

476
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,608
we don't want the
food to get cold.

477
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,743
Yeah, i am determined to
get some of Lisa's yams tonight!
[laughter]

478
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,266
Great, hey boys, you want
to help me in the kitchen?

479
00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,617
We'll get started.
Alright, here we do.

480
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,533
[Laughter]
[Tony/Lisa Chuckles]

481
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:08,103
[Low Humming]

482
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:11,280
And that is why I am
thankful for my wife

483
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:14,196
and I will never eat Vivian's
potato salad ever again.

484
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,330
So it was all fake?
None of it was real?

485
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:18,896
It was sort of real.

486
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,725
- It's a metaphor, boy.
- Well actually,
it's an allegory.

487
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:24,728
I thought you got a shot
to get rid of your allergy.
[Laughter]

488
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,904
An alle-gory, Devin.

489
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:30,212
Okay? It's a story with a,
a message behind it.

490
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:33,781
oh, so you made us sit through
that crazy story for 20 minutes

491
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,739
and it was all
just a fairy tale?
[Laughter]

492
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,480
Now Ebony, the
important thing is the

493
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,178
story is about empathy.

494
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,570
We have to put ourselves
and other people's

495
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:43,530
shoes in order to
understand and appreciate
each other better.

496
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,184
I guess you're right, mom.

497
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,924
What do you appreciate
about us, dad?

498
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,317
I appreciate the
fact that you kids

499
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,667
will be cleaning up and
washing these dishes
as soon as dinner's over.

500
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,627
It's over. Get to it.
[Laughter]

501
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:55,933
[Instrumental Music]

502
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:58,327
[Ebony] So, what do you think
about dad's crazy story?

503
00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,894
To be honest, I
think he's capping it,

504
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,288
and it was all a ploy for us to
help out more around the house.

505
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,724
You know what,
I think you're right.

506
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,466
Aunt Vivian's potato salad, it
probably wasn't even that bad.

507
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,164
Let's try it.

508
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:15,953
Thank you.

509
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:20,262
Mm! Okay, he was right about
that! Mm-mm, mm-mm.

510
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,265
I don't know who's idea it
was to put licorice in there.
[Laughter]

511
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:27,182
[Low Humming]
Wait a minute...

512
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,923
Why do I feel weird?

513
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,230
And what happened to my voice?

514
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,406
Why, why am I so tall?

515
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,973
I think we switched bodies,
like in dad's story.

516
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:38,585
What are, what are these
weird pains in my belly?

517
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:41,370
Oh, those are cramps Devin,
I get them all the time.

518
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:44,025
What?! I can't deal with this!

519
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,028
Mommy!
[Laughter]

520
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,424
[Laughter]